Dangerous issues: Fear and Confusion

So I got confused and totally afraid. there was nothing I could do to help situations, I was jittery.... I had sent the picture to my brother and he said the colour of my leg wound should be pink... (He is a doctor) I sent it to my sis in benin(final year med schl) she said I needed to do a debridement (minor surgery)  asap! And also I was supposed to clean the wound twice daily. 

She suggested I stopped going to the hospital on the island and instead clean the wound twice daily myself and with mum's help.  It was friday and I went about as usual. I give myself kudos, nobody suspected the trauma I was going through.... Nobody knew I was breaking, crying inside...everybody assumed I looked good and I was fine..

I was sick! Sick of the drugs, sick of the dressing, sick of their opinions, sick of everything sickle. What's worse, my best friend was not available.. She was too busy to pick my calls, I felt all alone... Called Mr Calmness again, already I sent him a text earlier in d day but as usual, he made it out into a joke and I was still bristling over that. 

Now, we talked at length and he already told me to continue with what I am doing and allow God do the healing. God must have been disappointed in me when I was running around like a chicken. A song popped in my head but I couldn't sing wholeheartedly; whose report shall u believe? We shall believe the report of the Lord. His report says I am healed (a Ron Kenoly's song) 

On my way home, I stopped at a hospital, got the nurses contact, chatted with my friend who is a nurse with some hospital on lagos island. I stopped at the pharmacy, collected another doctor's contact, bought the equipment for dressing which was expensive.

Unfortunately, the gauze I got was totally different frm the gauze I was given in the hospital. I went home and my mum opened the former dressing.. Turned out my leg was healing well. We changed it and put the gauze I just bought. Fast forward from friday to sunday morning; my cousin opened the wound and I had two widened hole... Did I lose it? It was horrible. 

Obviously the wound was worse now because of the gauze. I am in trouble.... I cried on my bed cleaned my face, prayed to God for healing.

Let's see what tomorrow holds..

Again I say: I know the thoughts, my God has towards me, thoughts of good nd not evil to bring me to an expected end..

I refuse to believe in any doctor's report, I refuse to discuss my leg ulcer with any doctor. I would continue with the hospital I have been registered with and I would allow God do the healing!!